Eh. Lists.

So... I felt like making a list. Here goes:

1. Everyone is gone. Literally. Like, from my life. I never talk to my friends from CMS anymore. It's pretty sad...

2. Life is in slow-mo. Winter break, no homework, no life. Not saying that homework is my life. But still, no homework, means no school. No school, means no face-to-face contact with friends. And that, results in boredom.

3. Running out of things, here... Um... I keep on remembering when I waded into the ocean to grab a soccer ball... Weird. I guess it's 'cause even though Sea Camp was... okay, it was a really awesome experience for me, because I got to hang out with my friends...

4. List done. :)

Soccer.

Soccer... That one word holds so much meaning. It means the sport I love to play, it means a special bond over a team, it means... so many things. This season is over. We lost 2 - 0 against a third-place A division team. Not a bad ending.. Just.. Sudden. Now, I'll probably never see my team again. We don't go to the same schools, or the same church. It's funny, the first few years they hated me, because they thought I was a double-crosser. The years after that, they began to trust me more... And now, I'll never see them again. Thanks, guys. I had fun playing with you.

Stupid, terrible, stupid day. For lack of anything better.

I hate... A few things. Gee, that makes me sound like... I'm a hater or something. Which I'm not, I can be quite nice... Or I can hold grudges for a really really long time, so I'm told. But one thing I do, is to fight fire with fire. To stop people from seeing past the shield? Or facade? I almost cried today... Scratch that, I did cry. A little. Not much. But I'm not one to cry in the first place. That's how bad the day was. Truly. Maybe I'll be a lawyer when I grow up. Because, after all, everyone should have some sort of defense. Because once you expose yourself to the outer world... Who knows? They might see something they don't like, and attack you for it. That's why, sometimes, you need some sort of defense. Against the world. Against your friends. And sometimes, even against yourself. It's a reminder not to be too trusting, because in the end, I've never actually not been let down.

Nobody reads this, so it's okay to say this..

Why does it feel like everything is on fast-forward? I'm not ready to write so much.. And I'm definitely, definitely not ready... to pick a career. It's quite depressing... I don't know what I'm going to do. And it seems like I haven't been in touch with any of my old friends... Funny, nine years of friendship... come to this.

For Lack of Anything Better To Say

Well, as Imani had pointed out. I haven't updated in a while. So here's an update.. Hi! Ok, that's lame, but that's all I have currently. Yet another sleepless night. Kind of. Will probably take an excessively long nap later. There, that's better. Happy, Imani?

PS. I totally call knowing your schedule as soon as you get it!

Fear

Boom!
Windows shatter, buildings crumble,
children crying, parents weeping,
it’s everyone’s worst nightmare.
War.

Armies clashing, missiles falling,
aiming for their targets.
People die, churches are destroyed
innocents are not spared.

Trenches are dug,
men are lined up, all solid and stiff
they shoot, and they die.

This is war.
Terrible, deadly, and heartwrenching.
Fought for materials, things that won’t last.
Some say, it is honorable to die
for your country.
But,
there is nothing honorable
about killing, about war.

Snow...

Snow is pure and clean. It's white. It seems as if nothing could be wrong with it. Until the next day. The next day, snow starts to become corrupted. It loses some of its sparkle. It is dull, boring. Snow is only so pure as the world (or the day) is pure. If you keep some snow in your house, maybe in a jar in the fridge, it will keep clean. It will stay pure. You can do something to keep your part of the snow clean. Or you can just bury the rotten parts, the dirtied parts, and hope no one notices. This is snow. Is it life?